


Deuces Wild

by thequidditchpitch_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Heterosexual Sex, Romance, The Quidditch Pitch: Erotic Couplings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-12
Updated: 2006-08-14
Packaged: 2018-10-27 01:34:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10798983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequidditchpitch_archivist/pseuds/thequidditchpitch_archivist
Summary: A game of strip poker and some of Finnigan's Famous Punch amongst the Gryffindor upper classmen brings out a new side of Hermione and some old jealousies of Ron's. Add in some wet confessions and a laced potion and things will never be the same between our favorite two bickering Gryffindors. AU Sixth-year story began before HBP but some of canon has been incorporated.





	1. The Queen of Broken Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).

Chapter 1 – The Queen of Broken Hearts 

Hermione Granger sat in the room she shared with the other two female sixth year Gryffindors with her forehead resting on the cool surface of the mahogany vanity. She reluctantly lifted her face to look at her reflection in the mirror. She knew that she was nothing like the exotic Parvati Patil or the gorgeous Lavender Brown, so she was wondering if the twenty minutes she had just spent on her hair or the ten minutes she spent deciding whether to wear the new, form-fitting jumper her mother had sent her just after the start of term were even worth the effort. Staring back at herself, she pushed a curl behind her ear and asked aloud, "What have you gotten yourself into?"  
  
"Sounds like a little fun, deary, not that you would recognize it."  
  
"Argh!!" Hermione jumped up in frustration. "I don't need this from you, too!" she shouted at the mirror as she turned back toward her four-poster. Talking mirrors were one of the few things that Hermione absolutely loathed about the Wizarding World, especially this one that spent much of its time conversing with the two brainless twits she called dorm mates.  
  
She threw herself onto her bed, taking little care to not mess her hair, and lay staring at the canopy above. She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.  Why was she doing this?  Okay, she knew exactly why, but she was willing to try to convince herself that it was because she was tired of being looked at as a know-it-all prude, or even because she was tired of her roommates telling her that she needed to learn how to have fun. Part of her even wanted to believe that it was because Seamus had basically dared her to participate in his little Gryffindor group activity. Merlin knows, she’d even try to convince herself that it was entirely the mirror’s doing. All of these were actually partial reasons, but Hermione would’ve been quick to dismiss them without so much of a second thought. There was only one reason why she would be descending the steps to the Common Room momentarily, and it could be summed up in two words.  
  
Ronald Weasley.  
  
Hermione took another deep breath, but this one was a little more ragged as she felt tears starting to threaten their escape. The hurt and anger and disappointment from the entire situation were building up in her again, and she couldn’t help but think back to this afternoon and how she had come to accept Seamus' invitation.  
  
’~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
_It had been an uncharacteristically cold and dreary September day, but so many of them recently had been that way. Therefore, when Hermione entered the Common Room just after everyone was returning from dinner, she wasn’t surprised to find that it was already illuminated with candlelight and the glow from the fire in the hearth. Researching a project for Advance Arithmancy, she had spent almost the entire gloomy Saturday in the library...alone, a fact that didn’t brighten her day any, so the warmth of the Common Room was more than welcoming. Since returning to Hogwarts nineteen days ago, she had been spending a lot of her free time alone. Harry seemed to always be busy with homework or his special “lessons” with Dumbledore, or throwing himself back into Quidditch, since McGonagall had appointed him the Gryffindor team’s captain. Ron and Ginny had been gratefully helping Harry out with his Quidditch practicing, especially Ginny who hoped to secure a position on the team in one of the open Chaser positions. When they weren’t helping Harry, Ginny spent her free time with Dean Thomas, whom she had been dating since the end of last term, and Ron had spent his time with anyone but Hermione. About a week or so before leaving the Burrow to return to school, Ron had started acting weird and distant around her, and it had her quite upset because she couldn’t place her finger on anything that had happened to cause this reaction from him. He had even passed on several opportunities to have a good row, and this had, puzzlingly, left her feeling rather empty._ _  
  
__As such September days go, it had been an altogether disappointing day. She hadn’t been able to find the specific information that she had wanted for the Arithmancy project, not that she had been able to concentrate on it. She had thought that her friends would seek her out to spend time with her today of all days, especially since it was entirely too nasty to be out on the pitch.  She had honestly expected Ron to not take notice of the day, not with the way he had been behaving around her lately, but she really didn’t think that it would pass Harry and Ginny by so easily. She had been miserably mistaken.  She knew that at this hour any hope of spending some group time with her friends was out of the question because Harry would be absent due to serving detention with Snape  because of a little incident between he and Malfoy in DADA yesterday afternoon. However, climbing through the portrait hole, Hermione had thought that she might be able to convince, or perhaps bribe, Ron into some time alone this evening, even if it meant playing Wizard's Chess all night. Hermione hoped that if she could just get him alone, she’d be able to find out what had been bothering him lately. She just really needed to get the whole thing cleared up so she could get her old Ron back and her life could get back to some semblance of normalcy. Needless to say, she was extremely disappointed when the only shock of Weasley-red hair that appeared to be in the Common room belonged to Ginny, who was sitting in one of the comfortable chairs near the fire. Hermione sighed with disappointment and headed toward the youngest Weasley._ _  
  
__"Hey, Gin," she said as she walked around to sit in the empty chair next to her friend. Just as she was sitting down she noticed that Ginny looked like she was currently fighting a very severe cold. "You look terrible."_ _  
  
__Ginny sniffled and said, "Oh, gee, Hermione, thanks." Her voice was very nasally and she sounded quite congested. She smiled slightly at Hermione and continued, "I feel pretty terrible, too. I thought as the day went on I'd get to feeling better, but I think it's only gotten worse."_ _  
  
__"Maybe you should go see Madam Pomfrey. I'm sure she can give you something to make you feel better."_ _  
  
__"I was just…" Ginny had started but was interrupted by Lavender and Parvati._ _  
  
__"Hey, Hermione, can we…? Ginny you look terrible. You know, just because you have a boyfriend now doesn’t mean that you should let yourself go. I've got a couple of really good Glamour Charms that I could teach you." The youngest Weasley just looked at Hermione and rolled her eyes at Lavender's comment._ _  
  
__"Did you two need something?" Hermione asked quite flippantly._ _  
  
__"Oh, yeah. You see, Hermione, Seamus has planned a little game tonight for a few of the older Gryffs, and we just wanted to make sure that you weren't…well…we don't want…what I mean is…" Parvati started tripping over her words._ _  
  
__"We wanted to make sure that you don't go running off to McGonagall," Lavender finished in a rush._ _  
  
__Hermione's eyes narrowed. "What kind of game are you planning?"_ _  
  
__"Oh, you know, just Muggle poker," Lavender answered._ _  
  
__"Lavender, you know gambling is strictly forbidden on school grounds. You aren’t planning on playing for money, are you?" Hermione asked.  Lavender and Parvati both shook their heads and Hermione’s eyes narrowed further. "Alright then. So why would I go to Professor McGonagall?"_ _  
  
__Just then Seamus walked up and caught what he assumed was Hermione agreeing to keep her mouth shut. "Great! See I told you two that Granger knows what fun is."_ _  
  
__"Excuse me!?!" Hermione interjected and glared at her roommates. They were constantly making snide little comments under their breath but loud enough to make sure Hermione heard them that she didn’t know how to have fun._ _  
  
__"I think I'm going to see Madam Pomfrey," Ginny muttered just as she slid as inconspicuously as possible from her chair. Hermione knew that her friend knew when to make a speedy exit._ _  
  
__Seamus sat down on the arm of the chair Ginny had just vacated. "These two said that you didn't know how to have fun and that you'd never keep your mouth shut about our little game of strip poker, but I knew better." He winked at Hermione._ _  
  
__"WHAT?" Hermione exclaimed and then lowered her voice and returned her glare at the two girls. "Strip poker?” She growled through clenched teeth. “You just said it was Muggle poker. There is no way I'm going to sit back and…"_ _  
  
__"See, Seamus. I told you that our prude little Prefect wouldn't keep her mouth shut," Lavender interrupted._ _  
  
_ Prude? _Could this day get any worse? Is that what people thought of her? Did they think that she was a prude who didn't know how to have fun? Was this what Ron thought of her? She could feel tears starting to fill her eyes. Normally, name-calling didn't affect her, but it had just really been a bad day. She closed her eyes to will the tears away. The last thing she wanted was to let_ ** _them_** _see her cry. She felt movement in front of her and quickly opened her eyes._ _  
  
__Seamus had gotten down on his knees in front of her and put his hands on each arm of the chair looking up at her. "Look, Hermione, we know that you just like to follow the rules and there is nothing wrong with that. We just want to have a little fun…good, clean, innocent fun and there‘s nothing wrong with that either. Everyone who'll be playing will be at least sixteen years old and we're putting up a modified Disillusionment Charm so that anyone who enters the Common Room won't see us…it’ll just appear that the Common room is empty. We're not starting until eleven o'clock so you don't have to worry about the younger students. So, come on, Hermione, just this once, can you look the other way?"_ _  
  
__Hermione sighed. She couldn't believe that she was even considering agreeing with this. But Seamus did have a point. Everyone who would be playing was old enough to make that decision and it sounded like they were planning on taking the precautions not to make a scene in the Common Room for everyone to see. Everyone had been so tense since Voldemort's return had been reported that maybe a little harmless fun would surely be alright. After all, if she didn't agree to this, they would inevitably end up playing somewhere else in the castle and be out after curfew. She took another deep breath and sighed again. "I can't believe that I'm saying this, but…okay."_ _  
  
__Seamus jumped up and said, "Great!"_ _  
  
__"But, Seamus Finnigan, if I find out that anyone underage was involved, I'm turning you all in, got it?"_ _  
  
__Seamus put his hands up as if surrendering. "Okay, okay. Got it!" He started to walk away but turned and grinned at Hermione. "You wanna join in on the game, Granger. You know you're dying to see me nekkid!"_ _  
  
__Lavender shot Seamus a death glare that didn't go unnoticed by Hermione who laughed and blushed slightly. "No, that's quite okay. Thank you anyway. I'll probably see if Ron wants to play some chess until Harry gets finished with his detention."_ _  
  
__Seamus furrowed his brow in confusion. "Er, Ron has detention tonight, too."_ _  
  
__"What? When did this happen?" Hermione shook her head and sighed in disbelief. "Oh, what did he do this time?"_ _  
  
__Seamus choked back a laugh, but it was Lavender who answered. "Professor McGonagall caught him and that new Hufflepuff fifth year…oh what is her name?"_ _  
  
__"Cecily," Parvati chimed in, grinning from ear to ear._ _  
  
__"Yeah, that's it. Ron and Cecily got caught in the empty Tranfiguration classroom, snogging. McGonagall walked right in on them going at it. I heard that Ron had her pinned up against McGonagall’s desk so McGonagall gave him detention for not being able to control his teenage hormones. She was furious and was still fuming when she came into the Great Hall." Both of Hermione's roommates burst into fits of giggles._ _  
  
__Hermione felt like she was going to burst into tears and vomit at the same time. Her heart felt like it was being ripped from her chest and her lungs felt like they were constricting making it difficult to breathe. It hurt her so much that not only had Ron turned into a typical boy but that he was a typical, hormone-driven boy that obviously wasn't driven toward her. Every false hope Hermione had ever harbored was beginning to eat at her insides. All his awkwardness and distantness now made perfect sense.  Hermione could feel the tears threatening to start to pool in the corners of her eyes. She was not going to fall apart in front of her classmates so she needed to get away quickly. She would not let them see her crumble. She couldn't. They all would know that she had feelings of more than friendship for the redheaded sixth year whom she spent years being simply friends with. She took a deep breath and smiled as she stood up._ _  
  
__"Well, I guess I'll just do some reading then." She picked up her bag and headed toward the stairs back up to her room. She heard Seamus say her name as if questioning if she was alright but kept on walking._ _  
  
__`Maybe if you weren't such a prude it would've been you.' Hermione stopped as the thought entered her head, then turned back toward the small group of her peers now occupying the comfortable chairs. "Seamus." Once he looked back toward her, she tucked some stray hair behind her ear and bit her lip a moment while she debated internally. She noticed that he was smiling expectantly at her. Finally she gave up. "Eleven, right?" Hermione saw his face light up as he nodded. "Count me in."_ _  
_  
’~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Hermione sat up on her bed and wiped her eyes. She hated it when she acted all girlish. She didn't know why she continually allowed Ron to break her heart. Perhaps it was because that every time she agreed to let go of her feelings and move on, he would do something that gave her hope that his feelings were more than platonic. Sometimes it would be a sweet gesture and other times it would be his ears turning red when she did something nice for him. She had even caught him on occasion just sitting and staring at her.  
  
Hermione was pulled from her thoughts when the Grand Clock chimed eleven. She stood up, smoothed her jumper and pulled her bushy hair into a high ponytail that allowed a few curls to slip out and frame her face. She then picked up her wand and cast a Glamour Charm that Ginny had taught her that summer to take the redness and puffiness out of her eyes.  Because she had no plans of going anywhere but down the stairs into the Common Room, she decided to leave her wand stowed safely in her bedside table’s drawer. She had this gut feeling that if she took it with her someone would get hexed before the night was over. Letting out one last sigh, Hermione knew it was now or never, so she made her way out of her dormitory and toward her night of reckless abandon.   _‘Yeah, right!’_

‘~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Entering the Common room, Hermione was glad to see that it appeared to be empty. This meant that Seamus’ modified Disillusionment Charm had worked.  This allowed her to relax slightly at not only her decision to hold her tongue on the matter of this game but also at deciding to participate. 

  

She made her way toward the far corner that held the largest table in the room where Lavender had told her they would be playing. Her roommate had explained that they had chosen that particular corner, not only because of the spacious table but mostly because it was the corner farthest from the Portrait Hole and the least used area in the Common room. This ensured that only those students that knew about the gathering would venture to this particular section of the room. 

  
As she breached the Charm surrounding the chosen corner, Hermione was not surprised to see that Lavender and Parvati were sitting next to each other, nor was she unsurprised that Lavender was in the seat next to Seamus. Hermione knew that they had one of those on-again/off-again relationships. She assumed by their proximity that they were currently "on-again."  
  
Surprisingly, Dean sat in the chair next to Seamus. It wasn’t necessarily the seat choice that was surprising. Dean and Seamus were best mates so it was a given that they would be perched together. Hermione was actually surprised to see Dean actually in attendance since he was dating Ginny, and Ginny was obviously in bed sick, if Madam Pomfrey had even allowed her to return to her dormitory at all. Of course, though, Hermione knew that Dean wasn’t so insensitive that he would be playing strip poker if his girlfriend _was_ in the hospital wing. They had apparently already come to an agreement about tonight’s little "group fun."  
  
On the other side of the table sat Neville, Colin Creevey, who had transformed over the summer to a rather nice looking chap, and two seventh year girls that Hermione only knew by their first names, Sarah and Elizabeth, who were sitting directly to the left of Parvati. There were two empty seats: one between Dean and Colin and one between Elisabeth and Neville. Hermione made to sit next to Neville when Seamus interjected.  
  
Standing and holding out the chair that he had just emptied, he said, "Here, Granger, you can sit next to me. Budge over, Dean." Seamus gave Dean a slight nudge on the shoulder to move him along. When Seamus returned his attention back to Hermione, he waggled his eyebrows slightly before saying, "You know, to keep me in line. Don’t want me to get too wild on everyone and end up with you having to **punish** me." He emphasized the word punish and smiled suggestively at Hermione.  
  
Hermione, who could feel herself blushing furiously, was trying to figure out what alternate universe she had entered when she breached the Disillusionment. _Is Seamus flirting with me?_

 

She was just about to politely refuse with an excuse about never having a chance to talk with Neville anymore, when she noticed the stabbing glare that Lavender was shooting at her. Apparently her roommate’s relationship with the host of this evening’s events wasn’t so "on" after all. An evil thought ran through Hermione's head as she made to sit in the chair that Seamus offered her. 

_Hmm, maybe this will be fun after all._ _  
_  
Once he had pushed Hermione’s chair in, Seamus smiled like the cat who got the cream and plopped down in the chair that had previously been occupied by Dean. "Now, Granger, you just be sure to keep those pretty little hands to yourself, especially if you lot manage to get me naked."  
  
Once again Hermione was blushing. She really couldn’t believe what she was about to do, but she had decided in that moment that maybe tonight was a good time to develop a new social personality. She leaned slightly toward Seamus, gently placed her hand ever so lightly onto his forearm and in a soft and amazingly seductive voice said, "You really needn’t worry about my hands doing anything improper, so I trust that I can expect the same from you as well. You know, so that I don’t have to, as you said, **punish** you." She ended her perfectly executed attempt at flirting with a quick wink.  
  
Hermione heard Lavender gasp at the scene that had just taken place. _Yes. That’s right, Lav. Hermione Granger, bookworm extraordinaire, knows how to flirt._ Of course she did. A person couldn’t room with Lavender and Parvati for six years and not learn a thing or two. It also helped being best friends with two of the best looking sixth year boys and witnessing many unsuccessful attempts by the Hogwarts’ female population to flirt with said friends.  Even though she knew what she was doing, it felt really weird to be acting so openly girly, and at first, she thought maybe it had been a mistake to choose Seamus as her first attempt at flirting. However, when he leaned close to her ear and whispered, "And if my hands are only partially improper," Hermione had known that her attempt was not only successful, but apparently welcomed.  
  
Hermione giggled. Yes, she giggled, and smacked him playfully on the arm. "Honestly!"  
  
Seamus leaned back into his own space and said, "So, can I offer you some of Finnigan’s Famous Punch?"  
  
"Yeah, like she’d drink it," Lavender said almost under her breath.  
  
"I probably don’t want to know what makes it so famous, do I?  
  
"Probably not," Seamus answered not very enthusiastically. He must have assumed that he had crossed the line with offering her a drink that she knew very well contained alcohol. Hermione knew that he was probably expecting her to order him to dispose of the liquor.  
  
"Well I guess I won’t." Seamus started to frown; however, Hermione simply reached over past him to grab an empty goblet and said, "So let’s see just how famous it is."  
  
’~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Thirty minutes later, Hermione looked down at her fifth hand of the night and smiled broadly. She couldn't help herself, she just felt so giddy and couldn't hide her satisfaction with the three-of-a-kind that she was holding. She knew that part of what she was feeling was the effect of that Famous Punch, and she knew very well that it was alcohol that made it famous. She really shouldn't be drinking it. She knew it! It was a very un-Hermione-like thing to do, but maybe she was tired of being Hermione-like.   _Let the transformation of Hermione Granger begin_!!  
  
Around the table, most of the players, including herself, had simply lost their shoes and socks, except for Lavender and Sarah who had both lost their jumpers as well, but still had on the T-shirts that they had worn underneath. Hermione had a feeling that both girls were simply trying to see who could get naked first and ultimately have the attention of all the boys at the table. Currently, everyone except Hermione and Colin had folded, and they were waiting for Seamus to decide whether he was staying in or folding.  
  
"Hmm. I don't know." He leaned toward Hermione. "What do you have there, Granger? You sure are looking quite smug."  
  
Hermione quickly pressed her cards to her chest and said, "I don't think so, Finnigan. You'll have to be willing to pay to see these cards, but if I were you, I’d fold. But, you know, since I’m not, so stay in. You’re looking a little overdressed."   
  
He reached over and tickled Hermione's side playfully and said, "Ah, you’re quite the saucy one, aren’t you? Come on, Granger, show me yours and I’ll show you mine!" Then he winked at her.  
  
Hermione just smiled and shook her head while continuing to hold her cards close. She distinctively heard Lavender make a noise that sounded remarkably like a snarl and this caused Hermione to laugh. Of course, she knew that everyone assumed she was still laughing at Seamus, whom had spent the last thirty minutes flirting mercilessly with her.

   

However, that wasn’t to say that she hadn’t spent much of the same time reciprocating. She wasn't sure which pleased her more: the fact that a boy was finally paying "that" kind of attention to her or the fact that his flirting was seriously hacking Lavender off. She had a feeling that it was quite a bit of both. Hermione found herself wondering why she hadn’t taken up this flirting thing long ago. It was almost as satisfying as a heated row with Ron. Almost.  
  
Ultimately, Seamus had decided that Hermione was bluffing and decided to stay in. When cards were shown, Colin had a pair of Kings and a pair of eights and Seamus had three tens, but it was Hermione's three Aces that won the hand, causing both Colin and Seamus to shed another article of clothing.  
  
Colin had just pulled his jumper off and discarded it on the floor, and Seamus was about to remove his T-shirt since he had chosen not to wear a jumper, when two Gryffindors breached the barrier of Disillusionment capturing everyone's attention.   
  
"Potter. Weasley. Good to see you survived detention! Come to have some fun?" Seamus inquired, but before they could answer, Hermione interrupted.  
  
"Harry!" She squealed and jumped to her feet. She ran toward them and threw herself at Harry wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist much like one would expect a little girl to throw herself at someone she hadn’t seen in some time. Harry stumbled back a bit looking wide-eyed at his female friend. His hands went instinctively to her arse to maintain equilibrium, which earned him a death glare from his other mate. 

  

"I missed you so much! What did that slimy git make you do this time?" She giggled uncontrollably as she hugged Harry tightly and buried her face into the crook of his neck. However, through her giggles she was able to catch Ron muttering an obscenity under his breath.   
  
Harry quickly leaned forward to force Hermione to release her grip on him and place her feet on the ground. He then put his hands on Hermione's shoulders and pushed her out to arms length. "Hermione, are you drunk?" When she just continued smiling and giggling uncontrollably, Harry sighed, shook his head displeasingly and looked around Hermione toward Seamus, "What has she been drinking?"  
  
"Just some of Finnigan's Famous."  
  
”Dammit, Seamus, what the bloody hell were you thinking giving her that shite to drink?" Ron snarled.  
  
"Honestly, Ronald! I'm a big girl now and can make my own drink choices. You're acting like he poured it down my throat. Well for your information…"  
  
"Hermione, love," Harry interrupted. speaking softly as one would to a small child and successfully directing Hermione’s attention back to him. "You did realize there was alcohol in his punch, didn't you?"  
  
"Well, yeah! Just thought I'd have a little fun tonight. You know celebrate. Life. My life." Hermione was speaking to Harry but was looking pointedly at Ron.  
  
Harry looked at her for a moment and then sighed once again. "Alright, then." Harry leaned forward and kissed her temple and told her to be careful and not to drink too much. Hermione turned and smiled at him.  
  
"You always take care of me, Harry.” Hermione placed her left hand on his right cheek. “You never hurt me, you know that. Not like some people." Hermione was still smiling at Harry but he had looked in his peripheral vision at Ron who he knew Hermione had been referring to. His focus quickly snapped back to Hermione when she leaned forward and kissed him on his left cheek and then hugged him again. Hermione was vaguely aware of the snickering and whispering coming from Lavender and Parvati’s direction.  
  
"You two want dealt in? The night’s still young and we've only been at it for a couple hands." Seamus’ words brought Hermione’s focus back to the game at hand. She pulled back and took a step back from Harry.  
  
Harry was quick to answer, "No, thanks. Snape had me cleaning the Owlery without magic and even after using the Cleansing Charm, all I want is a shower and then bed."  
  
"Alright. Can’t blame you there, mate! Weasley?"  
  
Ron was just about to say something when Hermione made her way back over toward her seat, grabbed hold of Seamus by his upper arm, and pulled him up.  
  
"Hermione?" Ron questioned just as Seamus had said “Granger?”   
  
Smiling, she stepped up close to Seamus and in a low, husky voice she didn’t even know she possessed said, “You know it just occurred to me…” she began then grasped the bottom of his T-shirt and started to lift it. "I believe you owe me this."  
  
Seamus chuckled then leaned forward and placed a tiny, quick kiss on the tip of her nose. "Indeed, I do." Hermione didn’t need to turn around to know that Ron was red with fury. Seamus removed his shirt and handed it to Hermione who slowly dragged it up across his chest eliciting a hissed breath out of Seamus. She then dropped it over his shoulder on the floor with a smirk on her face as she turned to glare at Ron. 

 

_Take that, Mr. I-Can-Go-Around-Snogging-Everyone-But Hermione!_ Just as she was thinking about saying something to the same extent out loud, Seamus stepped up behind her, wrapped one arm around her waist pulling her close to him and leaned in so that she could feel his breath on her ear and his bulge pressed against her buttocks.  
  
"Why don't you sit that pretty little arse of yours back down so I can get you out of your shirt?" He just barely kissed her earlobe before returning to his seat. Hermione suddenly became aroused in a way that she never quite expected. Between the arousal and the alcohol, it was all she could do to remain standing from the light-headedness that she suddenly felt. However, she was brought back into focus when she once again heard Lavender snarl and was pretty sure that she had heard the same sound coming from Ron.  
  
"So, Weasley, you in?" Seamus asked as he returned to his seat and picked up the deck of cards to shuffle.  
  
Hermione locked eyes with Ron. There was a look on his face that was almost predatory. He turned his glare toward Seamus and practically threw himself into the chair next to Neville.  
  
"Yeah, I'm in."  
  
’~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
About a quarter ‘til one in the morning, the game was down to Ron, Hermione and Seamus. Dean had went to bed just after midnight stating that he promised Ginny that he wouldn't stay up too late, much to the others’ surprise. Colin had moved to one of the sofas in the opposite corner of the Common Room with the seventh year Gryffindor girls and was currently attempting to settle a petty argument between the two friends as to who was the better kisser.  _Who would’ve thought that Creevey could be such a Casanova?_  Neville, poor, poor Neville, was currently passed out in his chair with his head resting on the table. He had nervously started drinking large amounts of punch after the first girl, Lavender (not that there’s any surprise there), lost her T-shirt to be clad in only her bra. He had continued drinking large amounts until finally about thirty minutes earlier he’d said out of the blue, “I wish the two of you would just shag and get it over with. I can’t take two more years with all the bickering and being awakened in the middle of the night to her name being moaned. It’s just insane,” and then his head hit the table with a loud thud.  Everyone sitting at the table just looked around at each other, completely puzzled, then burst out laughing. Had she had more of her wits about her, Hermione would have been inclined to attempt to wake Neville and ask him which of his roommates he was referring to. It was probably fortunate for Neville that he had passed out when he did, because just about ten minutes later Lavender had lost her bra in a hand to Hermione. Lavender, of course, had been more than happy to oblige. But when she had removed her bra and sat waiting for the reactions from Colin, Ron and Seamus, she was brought to tears when the only acknowledgement she got was from Colin, who muttered something along that lines that it was about time.  However, it was probably the reaction of Seamus that started the waterworks. As Lavender dropped her bra to the floor, Seamus leaned on the table and looked around Hermione at a part of his ex-girlfriend’s anatomy that he had certainly seen before, then he reached over and slipped his finger inside Hermione’s bra strap and said, “How ‘bout givin’ us a looksie too, Granger?”   Of course, Lavender covered herself quickly with her arms, burst into tears and ran up the stairs to the girls’ dormitories. Parvati, being the good best friend that she was, ran after her. Shortly after the incident, Colin, Sarah and Elizabeth had embarked on their little experiment.

  
Now after two more goblets of that wonderful punch, Hermione seemed to care little that she was sitting at a table in the Common Room clad in only her bra and knickers, both of which were white cotton with little red hearts. She was also unaffected by the fact that she was sitting in this state with a half-naked Ronald Weasley and a nearly naked Seamus Finnigan.  Ron had apparently had what Dean referred to as beginner’s luck because he was still wearing his socks, his jeans and whatever he had on under them. Seamus, on the other hand, had suffered more losses with the more punch he drank and would be down to his boxer shorts as soon as he finished removing his jeans that he has just lost to Hermione.  
  
Seamus and Hermione had continued their flirting, and for once in…well it was probably since her first train ride to Hogwarts years ago, she was completely enamored with someone other than Ronald Weasley. There was a boy, a rather handsome boy, who was acting completely smitten with her. Hermione felt like her face was going to burst from the smile that had been on it all evening. She also felt like her skin was going to melt at every spot where he would reach over and touch her.  However, in the back of her drunken mind, Hermione still wished that it was Ron who was showing her this kind of attention. Maybe if she had started this flirting thing years ago, it would have been him. But as it was, she wasn’t about to turn down the affections of this Gryffindor, even if he was known for being quite the lady’s man.  
  
When Seamus sat back down from removing his trousers, he sat obscenely close to Hermione so that he was facing her side with one of his legs behind her chair and the other in front of her with their knees touching. She would’ve had to be blind not to see his obvious arousal tenting his boxer shorts. He leaned forward and brushed some of the stray curls behind her ear, and she was just about to turn her face toward his when he gently started running his fingers up and down the inside of her thigh just above her knee, then he whispered very close to her ear, "You are absolutely gorgeous, love." His other hand had slipped behind her and came to rest on the small of her back.  
  
Hermione's eyes fell shut and her mouth fell slightly open at the sensation from both his fingers and his words. She felt her body responding to the newfound sensations as her breath was becoming shallow, her stomach felt like it did a flip-flop and, had she been sober she would have been horrified, her nipples hardened and were pushing again the cotton of her exposed bra.  Oh, Merlin, she had never felt like _this_ before. She had heard other girls talk about desire but she had no idea it was so consuming. On top of everything else, no one had ever called her gorgeous, especially not a boy. Viktor, of course, had told her she was very pretty but not gorgeous. _And did he just call me love?_ _  
_  
Hermione was jolted out of her ecstasy by Ron slamming down the deck of cards in front of Seamus. Ron looked pointedly at Hermione and said, "I think it's time to call it a night."  
  
Hermione simply said, "G'night then," before she turned her attention back to Seamus. Part of her knew that the comment was directed toward her, so when out of the corner of her eye she saw Ron stand, she couldn't believe that he was just going to leave her there without an argument.   _He really doesn’t care for me. There is no way he missed Seamus’ “condition”, and he has to know what Seamus is thinking of doing with me. Oh, Merlin, is he leaning toward me…for a kiss? Does Ron have any idea what I’m thinking about doing with Seamus?_

Then she felt a strong hand wrap around her upper arm and pull her to her feet.  
  
"Hermione, I think it's time **you** call it a night."  
  
Hermione jerked her arm out of his grasp. Even though she had been hurt just moments before thinking that he didn’t care enough to look out for her, she was now thoroughly hacked off because he wanted to make decisions for her. "Maybe I don't want to call it a night yet, Ronald!"  
  
Ron grabbed her forearm this time and attempted to pull her away from Seamus. "Maybe I don't want you to do anything else stupid tonight."  
  
"Stupid! You're calling me stupid, Ronald? Isn't that like the kettle calling the pot black? At least, I'm not stupid enough to get caught snogging in an empty classroom. By the way, how _was_ detention? Surely nowhere near as much fun as what you were doing to get that detention.”  Hermione had managed to wrench her arm free from Ron, who seemed to be stunned by the fact that she obviously knew about his little escapade. She stood swaying, with her hands on her hips, glaring at him. She was beginning to think that maybe having so much of Seamus’ punch wasn’t such a good idea. Not only was she feeling light-headed and slightly nauseaous, her emotions were finally starting to get the best of her and she could feel her eyes starting to fill with tears.  “Tell me, Ron,” she tried desperately to bite back the tears, “had McGonagall not caught you, would you have taken the little slag right there on the Professor’s desk?” She needed to do or say something quick to turn the tables and make him feel as hurt as she was feeling right then. “Maybe **that** you could've gotten right the first time, but I hardly doubt it."  
  
By this point Seamus was laughing and making his way out of his chair and toward Hermione.  
  
"I think you've said enough, Hermione. I also think you need to sober up." Ron drew his wand from his pants pocket.  
  
"What exactly do you plan on doing about it? Are you going to hex me? You think you’ve got a spell that you can get right on the first try that’ll give you the upper hand here?"  
  
Ron just stood there, his hands now on his hips in a mocking fashion, smirking at her for a moment. She turned around and noticed that Seamus had stopped moving toward her and was looking back and forth between her and Ron wide-eyed. It took her another moment to piece everything together, then she realized that Ron had spoken while she was rambling on and that after the words ‘you think' she had heard the words in her head but not out loud.  
  
Suddenly her mouth was moving and she could hear herself screaming at him even if no one else around her could.  
  
 _Bastard!! You hit me with a Silencing Charm. You have no right. None at all! You are an absolutely infuriating prat! You just wait until I get my wand. I am going to put more hexes on you than you can count. Exactly what do you plan on proving by doing this? I'm not going to just stand here and let you get away with this. You are so going to pay._ _  
_  
Hermione knew she must be a sight with her mouth running like a mad woman with her arms flailing. She just didn't know what else to do. She had never been so livid before in her life. She was infuriated further when Ron decided to comment on the situation.  
  
"You know, maybe I should have thought to do _that_ years ago. Would've saved the Gryffindors a lot of headaches from listening to us row all the time," he chuckled softly.  
  
Quickly Hermione made the decision that since she couldn't get her point across by words and she didn't' have her wand, she had to resort to physical violence. She stomped his socked left foot with the heel of her bare right foot and pushed hard against his chest.  
  
"Ow, Hermione!" Ron exclaimed but barely faltered then he chuckled lightly. "Not only are you a randy drunk, you're a mean one as well. Time to get sober, young lady."  
  
Hermione was just about to push him again for those comments, but before she could react, Ron quickly stooped down and quite easily picked her up and threw her over his left shoulder. He grasped her around her thighs with his left hand and tucked his wand back into his jeans pocket with his right. Of course, Hermione tried desperately to kick but his hold was too strong, so she resulted to pounding her fists on his back.  
  
"What the hell are you doing, Weasley? It looked like Granger was perfectly happy with where she was and what she was doing."  
  
Ron turned to face Seamus and said, "She is not yours to use, Finnigan. Especially not after you get her drunk. If I ever catch you doing this with her again, you'll regret it."  
  
"Well, you know, Weasley, she's not yours either. Not once have you ever made any claim to her, but you always do this. You always think you have to step up and be the knight in bloody shining armor rescuing the bloody damsel in distress. But maybe you’re the one that causes her the most distress, Weasley. Maybe you should just back off and give a bloke a chance. It was obvious that she was enjoying herself tonight with **me** on her own accord for that matter. Maybe she realized that I'd be willing to give her something that you aren't willing to give her."  
  
Hermione, who was still slung over Ron's shoulder and struggling, felt Ron's body lunge forward quickly, heard a sound between a pop and a crack and then a thud against the floor. When Ron turned to head towards the stairs to the boys’ dormitories, Hermione saw Seamus sprawled out on the floor, unconscious with blood flowing from his nose.  
  
Hermione continued her attempts to break free from Ron. She was so mad that she was actually seeing red. Okay, so that was the back of Ron's head, but still, she was furious. She couldn’t believe that he had hit another student. Well, of course, Ron and Malfoy had quite a few go’s at it, but she couldn’t believe that Ron would attack a housemate. And just where the hell did he think he was taking her?  
  
"For Merlin's sake, `Mione, stop struggling! You want me to drop you?"  
  
Hermione opened her mouth to retort but knew that it was futile; she simply smacked the back of his head. She was starting to feel dizzy and like she was going to vomit and she knew that her actions were getting her nowhere but worn out so she just let her body go limp.  
  
She was very surprised when Ron stopped at the landing to the second years’ dorms, but was even more surprised when he entered the lavatory and locked them in before sealing and silencing the room. He muttered the incantation to light the room and was moving further into its depths. Hermione, who was still looking at where they had been rather than where they were going, had no idea exactly where he was taking her and therefore, couldn’t fathom a thought as to what he was planning on doing to her.  Suddenly Hermione heard metal on metal scrapping and assumed it was the sound of a shower curtain being pulled back…that was if the boys’ showers were set up the same as the girls. She heard Ron mutter another incantation and then heard water running. Before she knew what hit her, Hermione was thrown forward into the stream of a freezing cold shower. Screaming at what would’ve been the top of her lungs had she not be silenced, she tried desperately to get out of the line of fire, so to say, but in the process she ended up slipping on the wet tile and landed on her bum. She quickly scooted back to cower in the corner of the shower stall. It was at this point that the dam broke causing the tears she had been trying so hard to hold back to flow freely.  Suddenly she heard Ron hiss under his breath, “Dammit,” then something she couldn’t make out before the shower was filled with the sound of her sobbing. She quickly pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face in her hands. Her body was numb both from the alcohol as well as the uncontrollable sobs, so she was completely thrown off guard when Ron was suddenly on the floor next to her and pulling her onto his lap and into a hug.  She buried her face in his chest and cried for everything that had broken her heart that day. She cried for not being the girl that Ron was kissing; she cried for the remarks made by her roommates both this afternoon and during the poker game; she cried for the numbness and nausea that she was feeling because of that damned punch; but most of all she cried because she was seventeen years old and this had been her worst birthday ever.


	2. Weasley Is Our King (of Breaking Hearts)

It was just passing eleven-thirty when Ron began his trudge toward the castle from Greenhouse Three. The trek was slow going from the combination of the oversaturated grounds from the earlier heavy rains along with the strong and gusting wind that he was walking into head-on. About halfway to the castle, Ron, miserable as he was, thought that he should at least be thankful that the rain had finally stopped.  
  
And as if right on queue, the heavens opened up.  
  
“Bloody hell!” Ron cursed as he pulled his robe up over his head and began running for the front doors of the castle.  
  
Tonight had undoubtedly been the worst night of Ronald Weasley’s life, and now it seemed as if the powers that be were mocking him by the sudden return of the downpour of rain. He couldn’t help but wonder what terrible wrong he had committed for his life to turn to shite so quickly. Okay, so he knew that he’d been feeling a little bit of animosity toward his best mate for being made Quidditch Captain. _And_ there was the fact that he had spent all summer unmercifully teasing his sister about her newest boyfriend only to return to school in the protective, big brother mode and giving said boyfriend, who happened to be one of his roommates, a rough time so that Dean was jumpy and on edge around Ron nearly all the time.  
  
Consequently, both of those occurrences were normal and expected of any teenage boy. However, Ron wasn’t ready to admit that the real reason his life seemed to be buggered up at the moment was that karma had come back around to get him. Of course, if he admitted that his life sucked because it was the world’s way of getting back at him for the way he had been treating Hermione, he’d have to take a look at why he was acting the way he was with her. That was not an issue that Ron was ready to approach. So he settled for reasoning that his life sucked because he was Ronald Weasley and that was his destiny.  
  
Tonight, however, he was completely blaming that little Hufflepuff tart for why his evening had been shite. She was to be blamed for why Ron had spent more than thirty minutes being lectured by the school nurse about how young wizards these days were much too promiscuous and far too nonchalant about their activities, not taking into consideration the consequences of their actions. Consequently, the next excruciating hour or so of his time was spent being lectured about contraception methods including how to cast the Contraception Charm. Ron had never wished more that he could be a quicker study when it came to learning and performing new charms. Once the nurse was satisfied with his spell work, Ron was sent to the greenhouse to spend the last hour of his detention helping Madam Sprout harvest Noitcifnat Root through a method that looked much like he was castrating the poor plant.   
  
Now, running back through the sodden grounds in the sodding rain, Ron realized that he’d been too mortified and then disgusted all evening that he hadn’t taken proper time to reflect back on the events of that afternoon and to be furious with the Fifth year. However, as Ron was quickly becoming drenched in the newly regenerated rain, he was able to reflect back on the events that led to his detention on this Saturday evening.  
  
‘~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
_Ron was slowly meandering toward the Great Hall for evening tea purposely taking his time in getting there. This would be the first meal since returning to Hogwarts that Harry would not be attending. Dumbledore had asked for his presence for one of their private lessons this evening and Harry had been told by the Headmaster that the house elves would make sure that his meal was brought to the elder man’s office since the younger man also had detention that evening with the newest DADA professor, Severus Snape._ _  
  
Normally Harry’s absence from a meal didn’t affect Ron one way or the other, as long as he knew what was going on with his best mate. Tonight, however, Harry missing from dinner would mean that Ron would be alone, well as alone as one could be in a dining hall full of other students, with Hermione for the first time in twenty-seven days, and he didn’t think that he was ready for alone time with Hermione just yet. Alone time with Hermione was bound to lead to loads of questions about his recent behavior that would be just too embarrassing to answer. Therefore, Ron hoped that his procrastination in getting to dinner would mean that Hermione would have already eaten and left to return to the Library or the Common Room.  
  
Ron was so wrapped up in his thoughts of how and why things had changed between him and Hermione that he didn’t even notice that his actions were being watched from the doorway of the Transfiguration classroom. Just before he was about to round the corner toward the staircase that would lead him to the Main Hall, he was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of someone running toward him and yelling, “Hey! Wait! Please!”  
  
Ron turned around to find that new Hufflepuff girl in Ginny’s year that his sister had been bad-mouthing since the beginning of the term. Apparently in his sibling’s own terms, ‘She could be Lavender Brown reincarnated, that is if Lavender was dead.’ Actually Ginny had said that, had this Cecily girl been at Hogwarts her entire time at Wizarding school, she’d probably made Lavender look like a prude. Ron was just about to ask, with annoyance, what the bloody hell the girl wanted when he noticed the panic look on her face.  
  
“Can I help you?”  
  
“You’re Ron Weasley, aren’t you?”  
  
Ron felt his concern fade away quickly. Ginny had warned him that this new blonde girl had her eye on him. He was just about to tell her that he wasn’t interested, when she threw him for a loop and asked, “You’re a prefect, right?” This time she sounded on the verge of panic.  
  
“Yeah. What’s wrong?”  
  
The girl grabbed him by the forearm and said, “You’ve got to help me. Please.” Then she was dragging him down the hall back toward the Transfiguration’s classroom. “Quick, it’s in here.”  
  
He could feel his heart rate increasing and his body filled with adrenaline. He didn’t know what he was about to find, but he pulled his wand for good measure. When the two of them burst into the empty classroom, however, it was just that…empty.  
  
Again Ron repeated his question. “What’s wrong?”  
  
The girl took a deep breath and pointed toward the front of the classroom with the hand that wasn’t currently wrapped around Ron’s arm. “Up there. Behind the desk.” She started to walk toward McGonagall’s desk once again pulling Ron along with her.   
  
Once more, his body began to fill with adrenaline giving him a feeling of urgency. Had it not been for his body’s reactions to the excitement of possible danger, Ron would’ve noticed that it was odd that Cecily still had her body between his and the desk. In all the instances where Ron had seen girls ask for boys' help in “fighting something scary”, the girls had, if they even bothered to approach the area, kept behind the boy.  
  
As they reached the edge of the desk, the Hufflepuff started to lean forward slightly as to look on the other side. Ron was standing behind the girl at a further distance from the desk, but as he was a bit taller than the fifth-year, he assumed that he wouldn’t have to get much closer, so he too started to lean forward as well.  
  
It happened as quickly as lighting striking. One second Ron was leaning over the shoulder of the new girl to look behind his Head of House’s desk at some unknown danger and the next second she had quickly turned so she was facing him, grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled his lips roughly to hers. Ron had been too thrown off guard by the sudden change of position that his hands quickly fell upon the desk on each side of Cecily as he stopped himself from falling completely on top of her.  
  
It took all of another second for his wits to come back to him and was about to pull away in disgust. However, that second wasn’t quick enough when he heard the shrill-pitched voice of the room’s proprietor.  
  
“Ronald Weasley! You step away from that young witch this instance!”_  
  
‘~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Before Ron could begin to reminisce on the lecture that followed, he ran into what felt like a brick wall and his arse hit the spongy wet ground.  
  
“Bloody Hell!!”  
  
Ron realized that it wasn’t just his voice that yelled the profanity. He looked toward the direction of the “wall” that he hit only to find his best mate on his arse on the wet ground as well. Ron jumped up and quickly helped to pull Harry to his feet as well.  
  
“What are you doing out here, mate?” They both asked at the same time.   
  
“Detention.” (Again at the same time.)  
  
“Detention?” They really had spent too much of their lives together. Ron laughed again at the timing of both of their words. Harry too let out a chuckle as they both raced up the stairs toward the front door of the castle.  
  
Once inside, they both shook out their selves much like dogs do before casting a quick drying charm on themselves. As they passed the Great Hall on their way back to the Gryffindor Common Room, Harry asked again.  
  
“Detention?”  
  
“Yeah, it’s a long story.”  
  
“So give me the quick version.”  
  
And so, Ron began a quick recap of the events that evening.  
  
‘~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
“So was it at least a good snog?”  
  
“Harry!” Ron shouted in disbelief even though he suddenly burst out laughing. “Well, I really wouldn’t even call it a snog. It was basically over before it started what with McGonagall walking in and all.” Then almost as an afterthought he added, “Plus, it’s not like it was….”   
  
Ron stopped abruptly looking at Harry with wide eyes at what he had nearly admitted and to Harry of all people. Ron watched in horror as a mischievous smile began to spread across his friend’s face; however, Harry just walked past Ron and toward the portrait of the Fat Lady. Ron was just about to breathe a sigh of relief when the word that left Harry’s mouth wasn’t the password.  
  
“Hermione.”  
  
“What?” Ron spun around so that he was facing his best mate. “Harry, what …what are you on about?” Ron chuckled nervously. “Er, that’s not…um…the password.”  
  
Again, Ron wanted to cringe at the evil grin on Harry’s face. “No, it’s who you would’ve rather been kissing.”  
  
Ron opened his mouth to start to denying the accusation with all his might, but just couldn’t find the energy. The events of this day had him feeling completely drained. He let out a long sigh and his shoulders slumped in defeat. _‘Maybe if you talk to someone about it, you’ll feel better…even though it is Harry and he’s never going to let you here the end of it.’_  
  
Ron nervously rubbed the back of his neck as he stared at a spot and the wall and his voice was just above a whisper when he said, “Is it that obvious?” He finally did cringe when Harry let out a deep laugh. Ron met Harry’s eyes and before the other wizard could say anything, he said, “Please, Harry. Don’t! This is hard enough as it is. I don’t need you taking the mickey out on me!”  
  
The look on Harry’s face changed immediately to almost sympathetic. “It’s not that obvious, but let’s say that it doesn’t surprise me. There has always been a special chemistry between you two.”  
  
“Do you hate me?”  
  
Harry scoffed at him. “Why would I hate you, mate?”  
  
“I don’t know. I guess part of me just always assumed that you and Hermione would end up together. You know, the hero always seems to get the girl and the sidekick, either death or some sort of rare rash on his bollocks.”  
  
“Okay, first all I can say is…ewww!” Ron shot daggers at his friend. “I don’t mean ewww ‘cause it’s Hermione, but ewww ‘cause Hermione’s like the sister I never had. And second, who says you’re not the hero in this story, Ron.”  
  
“Oh, please, Harry! Every wizard knows that you are and will always be the hero.”  
  
“Listen, Ron, hero or not…it doesn’t matter. If you’re worried about what I think of the two of you getting together, don’t. I don’t know if I can picture either one of you with anyone else.”  
  
This time Ron scoffed at Harry. “Well, that’s good to know, but I don’t think you have to worry about us _"getting together"_. I think the way I’ve been treating her lately has ruined even the slightest chance that I might have had.”  
  
“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. Why the cold shoulder all of a sudden?”  
  
Ron could feel the famous Weasley blush creeping up his neck and across his cheeks. “Long story, mate, and not one that I really feel like going into tonight, especially out here in the hallway.”  
  
“Alright, I can respect that.”  
  
Harry muttered the password to a very annoyed Fat Lady who’d been silently waiting for the two of them to decide to finally enter the Gryffindor Tower. Ron followed Harry through the portrait hole with a mumbled, “Sorry.”  
  
As the portrait was closing behind them, Ron asked, “Do you think Seamus pulled off his little poker night?”  
  
Harry smirked and gave Ron a pointed look. “Do you honestly think that Hermione allowed it to happen?”  
  
Ron chuckled and headed toward the corner of the Common Room that Seamus had indicated when telling his two roommates about the plans for the evening. Just before he and Harry crossed over the barrier that had been set up, Ron chuckled and said, “Hey, there’s a first time for everything, isn’t there?”  
  
The smile on Ron’s face was wiped clean at the sight that greeted him as he stepped up to the table in the corner. Ron knew that his mouth was gaping open. He didn’t even hear the first words that his roommate spoke, because he was trying to wrap his thoughts around the fact that Hermione hadn’t only allowed the game of strip poker to commence… she was participating as well!  
  
Ron was further shocked when he watched Hermione throw herself into Harry’s arms and wrap her legs around his waist. Had the two not just had the discussion about Harry and Hermione and the prospect of there ever being a thing between them, Ron would’ve probably had to cause bodily harm to The-Boy-Who-Lived-Only-To-Be-Throttled-By-His-Best-Mate.  
  
However, when Harry’s hands grabbed onto Hermione’s arse to steady the two of them, Ron couldn’t help the profanity that he muttered under his breath.   
  
“What the fuck?”  
  
Ron was relieved that Harry quickly disengaged Hermione from his body as quickly as he could and pushed her out to arms length for a better look. Just as Harry asked the question, the thought crossed Ron’s thoughts.   
  
_‘Bloody hell, she’s drunk!’_  
  
“Just some of Finnigan’s Famous,” Ron heard the Irishman answer Harry’s question.  
  
This time Ron’s voice was loud and strong when he said, “Dammit, Seamus, what the bloody hell were you thinking giving her that shite to drink?”  
  
“Honestly, Ronald! I’m a big girl now and can make my own drink choices. You’re acting like he poured it down my throat. Well, for your information…”  
  
Ron could see that Hermione’s rant was just gaining steam, so he was quite thankful when Harry diffused the situation. However, when he heard that Hermione had willingly drank something with alcohol in it, he wished that she had continued on her rant. No, he didn’t want to hear that she was participating in this on her own free will.   
  
Hermione didn’t do things like this…not _his_ Hermione anyway. _His_ Hermione read obscenely thick tomes and revised her essays and made outlines and study timetables. _His_ Hermione most definitely didn’t play strip poker nor did she drink alcoholic beverages. He was just about ready to scream at the top of his lungs _‘What have you people done with MY Hermione?’_ when he heard Seamus say his name.  
  
He turned his attention to his roommate and was just about to ask him what he had just said when Hermione started walking toward Seamus. Before Ron knew what was happening, she had grabbed onto the other boy’s shirt and was starting to lift it off of him.  
  
“Hermione?” Ron was nearly dumbfounded.  
  
Ron didn’t even register the words that she said to the Irishman because he couldn’t get his mind past how deep and sultry her voice sounded. He felt his heart rate start to increase and felt the beginning of his arousal starting to strain against his jeans. Just when he didn’t think that this night could get any worse, Seamus leaned forward and kissed the tip of Hermione’s nose and began to flirt with her.  
  
Arousal was the farthest thing from Ron’s mind as he felt anger flood his entire being. At this point all he wanted to do was to begin to rip his roommate limb by limb. He looked to Harry to hold him back from doing anything that would get him not only expelled but thrown in Azkaban as well, when it occurred to him that his best mate had deserted him. When Ron turned his focus back on the two across the room from him, he noticed that Hermione was smirking at him. _‘It’s almost like she’s purposely trying to hack me off.’_  
  
Ron was just thinking that he really just needed to pull Hermione away from all this, have the row to end all rows, let her get whatever she needed to off her chest and then be done with all this nonsense. But then Ron was seeing red once again as Seamus stepped up behind his Hermione and pulled her body close. When the other wizard said, “Why don’t you sit that pretty little arse of yours back down so I can get you out of your shirt?” Ron couldn’t help the snarl that erupted from deep in his gut.  
  
Ron felt somewhat comforted when he heard a similar sound coming from Lavender. He had thought that her relationship with Seamus was going hot ’n heavy once again. Apparently the other Sixth year witch wasn’t very pleased with the events that were conspiring either.  
  
“So, Weasley, you in?” Seamus asked as he returned to his seat and picked up the deck of cards to shuffle.  
  
Ron locked eyes with Hermione. Oh there was no way in hell that he was going to just leave her down here alone with Seamus. No, Ron was definitely going to fight tooth and nail to preserve Hermione’s innocence because he just knew that come morning she was going to be absolutely appalled by her actions of this night.  
  
Ron threw himself into the chair next to Neville and through clenched teeth said, “Yeah, I’m in.”  
  
‘~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
As it was nearing about a quarter ‘til one in the morning, the game was down to Ron, Hermione and that traitorous wanker that Ron had decided to better learn how to sleep with one eye open. Ron had paid little attention to anything that was going on around him other than the watchful eye that he was keeping on the couple that was sitting across the table from him. Ron had only been partially aware of Dean’s departure, of Neville passing out with a thud of his head to the table top, of Colin and those two tarts moving their own little not-so-private party to the sofa, or to Lavender running toward the girl’s dormitory in tears and Parvati following closely behind her.  
  
Ron was, however, completely aware when Lavender lost her bra and sat there at the table in all her glory. He was a sixteen-year-old bloke, after all. Ron had seen topless women before, in those dirty magazines his older brothers had passed down from one to another; however, this was the first time that he’d seen one in the flesh, so to say. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you want to look at it, Ron didn’t have time to start to even get slightly aroused, because not mere seconds after Lavender was bare breasted, Seamus was running his finger under Hermione’s bra strap and asking for a look at her. Ron began to wonder how long he was going to be able to sit motionless watching the wanker with _his_ Hermione before he threw himself over the table and attempted to rip the little arse’s head off.  
  
However, after Lavender ran off in tears, Seamus turned his attention back to the game at hand. Currently, Ron was thankful that he had not been drinking that “Famous” punch, because it allowed him to keep his wits about him. Dean kept going on about how Ron had beginner’s luck or something like that. No, Ron just wasn’t drunk like the rest of the lot so he had sense enough to fold when he wasn’t at least eighty percent sure that he had the best hand.   
  
Of course, there had been a few hands that he had played that didn’t turn out the way he wanted and that is why he had lost his jumper, his T-shirt and his shoes. The last thirty minutes or so, he had been playing a little more cautiously because he was down to just his socks, which he was told had to be removed as a pair, and his trousers and that was it. Ron, who had developed a habit of not quite getting his laundry actually into the laundry bin, realized this morning as he was dressing that he didn’t have any clean shorts. He’d immediately filled the bin and hoped that the house elves hadn’t already made their rounds.  
  
Ron was thankful that he had Seamus and his anger toward the other boy, because it kept Ron’s hormones in control so that Ron had only got semi-hard when Hermione had removed her T-shirt and Ron got his first look at her cleavage, and there seemed to be masses and masses of it. Of course some completely inappropriate comment made by the Irish wizard worked to quickly change his arousal to anger.   
  
Ron felt another wave of intense anger wash over him as Seamus sat down after removing his trousers. However, his roommate didn’t sit down fast enough and Ron got a much-unwanted look at the tent in the other boy’s boxer shorts. Ron was both sickened and infuriated at how Seamus was obviously getting off on his little actions with Hermione. Ron had reached across the table and grabbed the cards as his soon-to-be dead mate started groping his best female mate and whispering endearments into her ear.  
  
Ron was just about to stand and pull Hermione away from the wanker, when Hermione’s eyes fell shut; her head lulled back in ecstasy and a slight moan escaped her parted lips. Ron’s jeans suddenly became very tight as he watched her nipples harden and press against the fabric of her bra, right before his eyes. ‘Oh, dear Merlin! She’s aroused. My Hermione is randy and wanton and not with me.’   
  
That thought alone was enough to relieve some of the strain against the crotch of his trousers. He needed to put a stop to this now while he still could. Ron was pleased to watch Seamus and Hermione jump apart as he slammed down the deck of cards. “I think it’s time to call it a night.”  
  
“G’night then,” was the only response that he got out of Hermione before she turned her attention back to Seamus.  
  
_‘And she has the nerve to call me infuriating!’_  
  
Ron walked around the table, and just as it appeared that the other boy was leaning in to give his Hermione the kiss that Ron should’ve been giving her, Ron grabbed her by the upper arm and pulled her to her feet.  
  
“Hermione, I think it’s time **you** call it a night.”  
  
Ron prepared himself for the row that was sure to follow, but was silently disappointed when all she did was jerk her arm out of his grasp and spat, “Maybe I don’t want to call it a night yet, Ronald!”  
  
Well at least she was using his given name so he knew that she was thoroughly hacked off. Ron grabbed her arm again and attempted to pull her away from the other bloke. “Maybe I don’t want you to do anything else stupid tonight.”  
  
“Stupid! You’re calling me stupid, Ronald? Well, isn’t that the kettle calling the pot black? At least, I’m not stupid enough to get caught snogging in an empty classroom. By the way, how was detention? Surely nowhere near as much fun as what you were doing to get that detention.”  
  
Ron felt like his veins had suddenly been filled with ice water. His stomach churned and he thought he was going to be sick. He should’ve known that it was inevitable that Hermione would hear about what had happened with that Hufflepuff trollop. He had kinda hoped that he could’ve explained it to her, and Harry too, of course, so that he didn’t have to be alone with Hermione. He knew that if she heard it from anyone else, she would misunderstand what had happened. Apparently he was right.  
  
His heart began to break as he saw the tears starting to fill her eyes. Once again he had managed to make Hermione cry. However, after her next comment, he felt quite a bit less remorse.  
  
“Tell me, Ron, had McGonagall not caught you, would you have taken the little slag right there on the Professor’s desk? Maybe **that** you could’ve gotten right on the first time, but I hardly doubt it.”  
  
Ron clenched and unclenched his fist as Seamus began to laugh and make his way over toward Hermione once more.  
  
“I think you’ve said enough, Hermione. I also think you need to sober up.” He then pulled his wand out of his back pocket. As the plan formed in his head, he was really surprised at himself for not thinking to use the Charm in previous rows. Perhaps, he figured that he could only match Hermione magically when she was three sheets to the wind.   
  
Hermione started to spout off some comment that she must’ve thought was quite witty, by the look on her face anyway, but about mid sentence he calmly said, “ _Silencio_ ,” and completed the proper wand movement. This time Ron just stood there smirking at her as the events of the last few seconds processed in her liquor-addled brain.  
  
Then she was suddenly stamping her feet and flailing her arms and her mouth was moving in what would’ve been one heck of a row, had there been any sound to what she was saying. Ron couldn’t help but comment on the situation.  
  
“You know, maybe I should have thought to do that years ago. Would’ve saved the Gryffindors a lot of headaches from listening to us row all the time.” He chuckled softly.   
  
He was shocked when Hermione decided on a physical assault since a verbal one was useless. She stomped his left foot with the heel of one of hers and pushed hard against his chest. Ron barely faltered and chuckled again.   
  
“Ow, Hermione! Not only are you a randy drunk, you’re a mean one as well. Time to get sober, young lady.”  
  
Ron had decided that he was going to diffuse the situation that had been unfolding by removing Seamus from the situation. However, after Hermione’s little outburst of physical abuse, Ron decided that he’d use the method on her that he’d once seen his mother do on a seventeen-year-old Charlie when he’d come home completely pissed from a post-term party a couple nights after returning from his seventh year at Hogwarts.  
  
In one quick scoop, Ron had Hermione over his shoulder with a tight grasp across her bare thighs, which he tried not to think about, and had pocketed his wand once more. Of course, for her part, Hermione was desperately trying to kick to no avail so she resorted to pounding his back with her fists. He was just about to make his way to the staircase to the boy’s dormitories when Seamus decided he needed to speak up and attempt to be manly.  
  
“What the hell are you doing, Weasley? It looked like Granger was perfectly happy with where she was and what she was doing.”  
  
Ron turned to face the other boy. “She is not yours to use, Finnigan. Especially not after you got her drunk. If I ever catch you doing this with her again, you’ll regret it.”  
  
"Well, you know, Weasley, she's not yours either. Not once have you ever made any claim to her, but you always do this. You always think you have to step up and be the knight in bloody shining armor rescuing the bloody damsel in distress. But maybe you’re the one that causes her the most distress, Weasley. Maybe you should just back off and give a bloke a chance. It was obvious that she was enjoying herself tonight with **me** , on her own accord for that matter. Maybe she realized that I'd be willing to give her something that you aren't willing to give her."  
  
Ron didn’t know what about Seamus’ little ramble had rubbed a raw nerve, but what he said snapped what little resolve he’d held onto all night. Without a second thought, he gave the other bloke a nice right hook across the jaw, which caused him to fall to the floor with a thud. He quickly smirked at the boy, swore under his breath (“arsehole”) then headed up the stairs to the boys' dorms.   
  
Of course, Hermione didn’t go without a fight. She continued her squirming and at one point even smacked him in the back of the head. Ron was trying to a great extent not to think about the feel of Hermione’s nearly naked body against his naked upper body. Quite a few inappropriate thoughts began to run through his head and he decided that beginning tomorrow he was going to have to avoid any alone time with Hermione at any cost.  
  
“For Merlin’s sake, ‘Mione, stop struggling! You want me to drop you?” The comment earned him another smack on the back of the head, but he was thankful that at that point her body went limp. Ron wasn’t sure whether she had just given up the fight or had passed out.  
  
He had thought that if she stopped squirming around on his shoulder that he’d be able to concentrate on the task at hand and not on the feel of her body. As always, though, he was horribly wrong, so when he arrived at the landing to the Second years' dorms, he decided that their lavatory would work just as well as the Sixth years'.   
  
He entered the loo, locked, sealed and silenced the room. He muttered the incantation to light the room and then moved deeper into the interior toward the shower stalls. He stopped at the first one, threw back the shower curtain, turned on the cold water before throwing a still silenced Hermione under the spray. In the process of trying to escape the cold water, she lost her footing and hit the floor on her bum.   
  
Ron was almost amused by the sight, until she quickly scooted back in the corner of the stall, cowering. He didn’t need there to be any sound coming from her to know that she was now sobbing uncontrollably. Once again, Ronald Weasley managed to be the world’s biggest prat.  
  
“Dammit.” Ron drew his wand, pointed it at Hermione and said, “ _Finite._ ” As he pocketed his wand, he watched her pull her knees to her chest and bury her face in her hands. His heart shattered at the sight and at the fact that he had yet again managed to bugger things up between the two of them.   
  
Before he was really thinking about what he was doing, he was on the floor next to her and pulling her onto his lap and into a hug. He’d never been good with any crying girl, let alone a crying Hermione, but this seemed all so natural for some reason. Within seconds, she had buried her face in his chest and continued to sob. Ron felt tears start to sting his eyes so he buried his face into her unruly curls and kissed the top of her head, which made her cry even harder.  
  
In that moment, he resolved that he would never be anything more to Hermione than Ronald Weasley, King of Breaking Hearts.


End file.
